I know this is okay though.
I am okay, and I will work through this.

If anything, I feel like I am at a wall where my old things and thoughts ended, and I need to climb over the wall and this is where I am stuck.

The fact that I used to draw all the things I loved and thought of and then came to a school that has given me pointless troubles that now haunts my creativity really frustrates me and depresses me.

I feel such a pressure to try and not do what others have done, to try and make my art come from only me. Yet it always has but now the art world has made me so mentally aware of what everyone else is doing and what I am doing and how I should be aware of this comparison and think about what I do and why I do it, I seem to: constantly toss ideas out of the window, envision what’s already been done, and struggle to connect my mind at late hours that is overflowing with ideas to the pencil that touches my sketchbook at another day or moment in my life.

I seem to be so clear and inspired when my mind is finally given a break from everything existing in my life.

All this information and sudden importance of all these things that has been brought to me to help me, only debilitate what was a natural and enjoyable passion of mine.

I am struggling with making art for myself, yet executing within the confounds of all this new information and influence that has left me completely dumbfounded with where I even feel I want to begin.

I want to shut myself away. I need to isolate myself. More. And more.